The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Randomize
