Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
