she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
