4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I wannas sexs uuuuu
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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