If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
