Please don't use social media to get back at me.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize