Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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