What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
