I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
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