he shaved USA in his pubs
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize