So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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