In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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