he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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