when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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