She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
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