why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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