So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize