Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
