i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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