I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i dont even know how to be here
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I need moral support for this bender
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
