I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
