Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
