I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
You're a waste of cheezeits
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
