You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Let's get the cat blown out
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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