If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
