he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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