i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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