and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize