if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Houston, we have a blender
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
be right there i have to get my cape
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize