It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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