I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
