Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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