Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
