Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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