You're my little dorito
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
