nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
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