Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
so let's talk penis.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
