How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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