Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
