You're earring is so big in my mouth
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
