She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
