i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
We are two peas in an std pod
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
