Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
