You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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