He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
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