Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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