The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
