It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
