I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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