I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
