He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
