so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize