Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
pop tarts are not kleenex
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
