So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
