i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Randomize
