Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
