Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
