How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Im part way to drunk.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Randomize