I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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