I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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