How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
