Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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