remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize