how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
